A poem for the son I lost - Kelly's story

Kelly's twins were delivered via emergency crash c-section following a placental abruption. Sadly, Henry died at just one month old.

The bittersweet life

It’s a bittersweet symphony that’s my life

I’ve almost accepted it’s going to be this way, it’s writhe

Then shock comes back over and how can this possibly be?

It’s not us this happened to - surely not our family?

I have one twin here and one twin in heaven up high,

Their broken older brother and aching arms until I die.

Each milestone brings joy and intense sadness at the same time

My brain can’t cope with feeling the opposite emotions simultaneously, it’s sublime.

I feel happy for Stanley then get swallowed by guilt and pain

Any key event is almost a blur as I’m on auto-drive again.

I often can’t wait for something to be over, gaining a sense of relief,

But actually there is no true escape from grief.

I have to try to remember to go with my feelings and power on,

For grief’s intensity reflects the love we have for those who are gone.

If I am happy Stanley is walking, I am sad that Henry isn’t here doing the same,

If I am sad on the twin’s birthday, I feel bad as Stanley isn’t to blame

These contradictory emotions are probably taking their toll

But I have to paint it on and hold it in! - I am a mummy to three - and must fulfil my favourite role!

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