Unfortunately at 22 weeks, I had the smallest bleed and when I went to get checked, I found out I was already 2cm dilated.
There were a lot of ‘what ifs’ going through my mind! Every day that passed became a bonus and I was hopeful we would get to at least 25 weeks.
Sai was born at 24 weeks and four days, weighing 710g. It was the most terrifying, toughest rollercoaster journey we could have ever been on.
We quickly realised that we had to take each day as it comes, celebrate the good days and embrace the bad.
Leaving the unit everyday would break my heart, but knowing Sai was in good hands gave me a bit of comfort.
Sai stayed in NICU for a total of 101 days. That included two different hospital stays, countless blood and platelets transfusions, retinopathy of prematurity, PDA closure, NEC and many other challenges!
Whilst in NICU the nurses would tell us to take a break and enjoy the free childcare!
They were instrumental in making sure we were okay and made us realise we needed to look after ourselves in order for us to look after our little boy.
As hard as it was dealing with the guilt we felt walking away from the unit, we learnt that it was important that we took time for ourselves so we could re-charge. Sai was in NICU for a long time, and taking that time helped us navigate through what was the new normal, allowing us to process what was happening.
The nurses helped us take care of our baby and gave us the reassurance that he was in good hands when we weren’t there.
It’s not the experience we would have wanted or had even planned, but it’s been a journey we battled through, which taught us to be resilient and closer as a family.
We hope our story brings you comfort in knowing that there is light at the end of the tunnel.
To other neonatal parents, don’t feel guilty for not being at the unit all the time, as you also need to look after yourself and process what’s happening.
