“I had never heard of a NICU before and didn't know what to expect.” – Manuella’s story

I was 27 weeks and five days pregnant when I began feeling discomfort in my womb area. I’m not one to complain, but I called the midwife just to be safe. They said I should head to the delivery suite for reassurance, even though they didn't think it was anything serious. They asked me to rate the pain on a scale of 1 to 10, and I said 10. I wasn't screaming or rolling around—it’s just not my style—but the pain was severe.

I drove myself to the delivery suite, pulling over every ten minutes to let the intense pain pass before driving on. When I arrived, I did a urine test that said there was a 12 per cent chance I would go into labour in the next seven days.

The doctor was really calm and explained that they were going to prepare my body as if I was going to give birth. If I didn't, brilliant, but they gave me some steroids to help the development of the baby's lungs, just in case, along with some magnesium. So there I was, around 11 o'clock on Friday, preparing for the possibility of an early arrival.

Everyone I knew was in London. I had just moved to a new house in Norwich and didn't know anyone nearby. My mum said she would start packing her suitcase for the weekend and come up. I told her not to rush, as they were planning to send me home on Monday. I reassured her to come then, not to get the train immediately.

The next day, Saturday, I decided to go for a walk. When I tried to get up, my thighs felt like they were on fire. It hurt so much that I had to lie down. I tried again, but it was so painful. Then, water started leaking from me. I thought, ‘this isn't supposed to happen.’ I worried about the baby needing water, and here it was coming out of me.

I rang the bell for the midwife but I couldn't find her. I walked over to her station, dripping wet, and explained that I thought my waters had broken. She reassured me it might not be the case and did a test to confirm. She mentioned that sometimes a urine infection can cause incontinence, but I knew something was different. The test showed my waters hadn't broken. I was thinking, ‘that’s interesting, whose waters are they then?’

By the time they checked me again, I was 10 centimetres dilated and the doctor said the baby was coming now. Everything happened so fast after that. The anaesthetists came in and gave me another steroid injection to help develop the baby's lungs and magnesium to prepare my body.

As they moved me from bed to bed, explaining everything, the doctor said he knew I had wanted to do this naturally, but they might need to consider a c-section. I told them to do what they needed to do, but I didn't want a c-section if possible.

At that moment, I had my family on WhatsApp video—all watching and supporting me through the screen. My sister was telling me that they needed to give me an epidural.

I ended up in a theatre, and I was signing forms, crossing out parts related to a C-section because I didn't want one. I was confused and overwhelmed by the number of people in the room. I thought they were cleaning up from the last patient, not realising this was for me. I had never heard of a NICU before and didn't know what to expect. This was an IVF pregnancy, and I thought you gave birth at 40 weeks, not at 27 weeks and six days.

The staff reassured me that they had the facilities to care for a baby born this early but I was still in shock. Eventually I told them, I’m so sorry for what about to do but I really feel like I want to do a poo and couldn't hold it in any longer. When the midwife asked if I felt like pushing, I said yes.

The next moment, I heard the surgeon say, "Somebody catch that baby."

They took her away, and I was still in a daze, not understanding that she was in the NICU. I didn't know what a NICU was, to me it sounded like something Japanese. They explained she was in intensive care, but kept using the term NICU, which was confusing. They brought her back to me eventually, just so I could take pictures, I think. She was wrapped in a little towel with a bit of blood on it, so tiny and fragile.

Because of COVID restrictions, only birthing partners were allowed, but they made an exception for my mum to come because I didn't have a partner. I insisted my sister should come in with her as her chaperone.

I was with Marvel 24/7 while she was in the NICU, and the nurses would tell me to go home and rest. I spent every waking moment with her, walking back and forth in the dark. They offered for a security guard to walk me back to my accommodation because it was late, but I said no, I’m a full Londoner if you know what I mean!

It was like having parenting classes being on the unit. The staff were confident, seeing cases like mine every day. They reassured me it was normal for babies like this to go home, but I was still worried and confused. I was constantly with Marvel, and they believed that’s why she thrived. There was nothing wrong with her; she was always with me, nestled inside my top, close to my heart.