I gave birth to Lachlan on the 6th of February 2023. Although he wasn't due until April, Lachlan decided to make an early entrance. I was classified as a high-risk and geriatric pregnancy due to underlying medical conditions, and we’d undergone many scans.
At about 31 weeks, during a routine scan, the doctors asked me to come back soon for another scan. This was on a Wednesday. On Thursday, I took the day off work to tidy the house, as you do. On Friday, we had the follow-up scan, and the consultant calmly let us know that we should prepare to have the baby sooner rather than later. He was so casual about it, it almost felt unreal. But then, he turned to my husband and said, “You’d better pack a bag because I’m calling an air ambulance.”
We were living on the Isle of Lewis in the Western Isles of Scotland at the time, where the hospital isn’t equipped for high-risk births. Many women travel to the mainland to deliver. We had planned to do the same, though not quite so soon.
We were flown to Forth Valley, where I was given steroid injections to help Lachlan’s lungs develop. The team hoped to delay delivery for at least 48 hours to give the steroids time to take effect. However, by Monday morning, it was clear Lachlan was ready, and I had an emergency C-section.
Sixteen people were in the delivery room. Of those, only two were men – my husband and the registrar. The rest were strong, capable women, and I’m forever thankful for that incredible group of powerful women. Lachlan’s birth went more smoothly than anticipated for 32 weeks. He was doing remarkably well, and I was even able to have a moment of skin-to-skin contact before he was whisked away to the neonatal team.
There were some complications on my side. My spinal anaesthesia took 17 hours to wear off, leaving me with bedsores – but as soon as I could, I was by Lachlan’s side. We spent six weeks in the hospital, the first weeks in intensive care. Lachlan needed oxygen, CPAP support, and he struggled with severe reflux, which effected his breathing and heart rate. It took a long time to work that out.
We stayed another week and a bit on the mainland after we were discharged. The hospital had suggested it'd be beneficial for us to be near an emergency department if that was required. So we were off island for about eight weeks in total before we flew home. In fact, I flew home not too long before his actual due date.
As a teacher, my maternity leave didn’t begin until the day Lachlan was born, per council policy. This meant it ended eight weeks earlier than we’d planned. My employer was very supportive, but childcare on the island for under-twos is scarce, so we had family flying in to help, which was logistically and emotionally exhausting.
My husband, Phil, was training to be a minister when Lachlan was born. His employer was incredibly understanding. They sent care packages and clothing and told Phil to prioritize family over work. He did, though he continued his studies from the hospital and managed to pass his exams – somehow!.
Sitting by Lachlan’s incubator, I often saw other parents coming in with their work clothes because they had to juggle that. Phil and I were fortunate, but I could see how much harder it could have been without that support. Financially, too, we were lucky that I could take nearly a year’s leave, though those lost eight weeks would’ve made a big difference during that challenging time.
Looking back, it’s a relief that the unique challenges of neonatal care are starting to be acknowledged. It’s an unusual, yet surprisingly common experience, and unless you’ve been there – or know someone who has – it’s difficult to comprehend. Maternity leave for NICU parents isn’t ordinary. It’s filled with pumping sessions, constant anxiety, and sleepless nights wondering if the phone will ring.
Lachlan is such a joy. At two years old, he’s thriving, full of energy, and loves his outdoor nursery. When we lived on the island, he’d wake up each morning and say, “Bah,” until we took him to see the sheep. Recently, a friend with a premature baby visited us, and seeing Lachlan doing so well gave them hope. That’s the thing about this journey – it’s hard, but sharing it can be a lifeline for others.
