How do I tell people that my baby has died?
There will be lots of people to inform that your baby has died - extended family, friends, colleagues. You might want to think about asking a close friend or member of the family to take on the role of sharing the information. You can for a member of your care team to help.
Planning your baby's funeral and celebrating their life
Planning for your baby’s funeral, or service of remembrance, is very important for most parents as a way of celebrating your baby’s life. There are many ways in which you might choose to remember and celebrate your baby, with carefully chosen words, songs (or hymns) and readings, flowers and candles.
Siblings can also find it helps them to feel involved if they can participate in funeral planning and saying goodbye in a way that is meaningful to them.
If you need any help with this please speak to a member of your care team or the funeral director who can guide you through the process.
Some ideas for you as a family may include:
• Making a keepsake box
• A balloon or butterfly releasing ceremony
• Writing in a book of remembrance at the hospital or children’s hospice
• Placing something in a garden of remembrance or in another special place
Useful resources and organisations that can provide information, help and support
Together for Short Lives is the UK’s leading charity for children’s palliative care. For information and support about children’s palliative care, including links to parent peer support groups, you can contact the Together for Short Lives Family Support Hub.
ARC Antenatal Results & Choices (UK) offers impartial information and support to help decide on your next steps in making antenatal decisions.
Child Bereavement UK provide support and guidance for all members of the family affected by the death of a loved one and includes some short guidance films.
The Children’s Funeral Fund for England can help to pay for some of the costs of a funeral for a child under 18 or a baby stillborn after the 24th week of pregnancy.
Contact UK provides information and details of condition support groups for families with disabled children. Contact offers support to families, brings families together and helps families take action for others.
Held In Our Hearts is a Scottish-based charity providing baby loss counselling and peer support to families.
Royal College of Paediatrics & Child Health (UK) provide supportive information for families about seeking an external second opinion.
Sands (UK) offers support to anyone who has been affected by the death of a baby before, during or shortly after birth, whenever this happened and for as long as they need support.
SIMBA (Scotland) help those grieving create precious moments to honour their babies memory.
Sunbeam (Wales) is a partnership of health care professionals from across specialist antenatal, neonatal and palliative care services offering support to families in Wales where there is uncertainty about their baby’s future. Your local team will be able to support you being referred to this specialist team.
Tommy’s - The Pregnancy and Baby Charity (UK) is dedicated to finding causes and treatments to save babies’ lives as well as providing trusted pregnancy and baby loss information and support.
Twins Trust (UK) aim to facilitate a network of community support. It provides parents of twins, triplets or more, information and guidance as well as helping to ensure these families’ unique needs are understood by the professionals who care for them.
Winston's Wish (UK) provides emotional and practical bereavement support to children, young people (up to 25) and those who care for them. They also have publications available to order offering support for children when someone close to them is seriously ill.
